Saturday, July 21, 2007

Make a statistician cry

My treasured list of statistical putdowns. Use wisely:

  1. I have no confidence in your intervals.

  2. Your momma's so fat, her posterior is bimodal.

  3. Your chi-square has no degrees of freedom.

  4. All your priors are improper.

  5. All your posteriors are noninformative.

  6. Nothing you've ever accomplished in your entire life would survive a Bonferroni correction.

  7. All your significant results are one-tailed.

  8. There's no Box-Cox transformation that can fix your kind of non-normality.

  9. I have more power in my pinky than you have in your entire grant proposal.

  10. You're so stupid, you think SPSS is hard.

  11. You're so stupid, you think association implies causality.

  12. You're so stupid, you think you proved the null.

  13. Why don't you take a random walk off a Brownian bridge?

  14. You're non-significant at alpha = .10 (one-tailed).

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